Ray left me to my own demise today with a full tank of gas and the sun shining in the bright blue sky. So, I took a short road trip to the Delaware Water Gap in Pennsylvania. Portland, PA to be exact. No, I didn't know, and No, I'm not kidding. It took me about an hour from Ray's house to get there, and it was well worth the drive. The view of the river and the colors I saw had me speechless with tears in my eyes. Our God is an amazing Creator and artist. The Water Gap is New Jersey on one side, Pennyslvania on the other, and the Delaware River in the middle. There are hiking trails, backpacking trails and picnic areas with parks on both sides. It's stunning. Since it was mid-week, it was pretty well deserted, which made it a perfect place to relax, enjoy and pray and thank God for the opportunity to be where I am and who I am with. Since I have quite a lot to say tonight, I will do like I did with my last post and do words first, and then pictures. It seems to allow for a better layout with this blog. I don't know if I love it, but it works and I'll live with it. Flexibility, right?
I have shared with you guys that Ray has been really stressed with work, both with the landscaping side of things, and also with preparing and securing bids for his snowplow business he does in the winter time. This guy has been over the top stressed, and it shows in everything he does. It has given me a chance to really come alongside him and encourage him to talk to God and to trust God to work out the details and meet his needs. Today, while I was wondering around the Gap, Ray called and told me he won the bid for Bernardsville Township. It's a contract he has to bid for every year, and this year I think he said 4 guys including him, put in for it and he won. He sounded like he was on top of the world. I didn't sleep well last night, so I prayed a lot. For the kids in Staten Island- Jordan in particular (her friend committed suicide by hanging on Sunday), and for Ray's heart to be peaceful. Then he wins this bid. And I am staning in this amazing place of beauty. I did end up crying today. I was amazed by God's goodness and desire to "uphold the universe by the word of his power." (Hebrews 1:3) If we, being evil, desire good gifts for our kids, how much more does our Heavenly Father desire to give us good things? (Paul, what's the reference for that verse???) All these things came flying into my head and I was overwhelmed to the point of GOOD tears.
I am learning so much about God's character already, and I am only a week into this thing...actually in 5 minutes (my time) I will be a week in. I'm blown away by how arrogant I am to think I thought I "knew" so much already. I don't know squat, but I am learning, and WILLING to learn. See, that's what God is looking for in us. A willing and teachable spirit. Those of you who have known me for 5 minutes know what a lug head I can be, and how frequently I can be the most unteachable individual you have ever encountered, but I WANT to be teachable. I WANT to be more tomorrow than I was today, and I want to be more like Jesus moment by moment. Being here has given me a first hand look and interaction with what spiritual battle looks like. I have been in Yoder and Mulino and Molalla all cozy and warm thinking I had it rough with my thumb and my gut issues....and I did. Being sick and injured sucks, but I am reaching out to kids with Ray in a city that had one of the very highest murder rates in the state of New York not that long ago....less than 4 years ago. I have never wondered if I was going to make it from one street corner to the next with my life. I haven't wondered if I was going to have a meal to eat in the course of a day. Or if my dad was going to beat me (or worse), or if my mom was going to overdose on drugs and die in my arms. I understand for the first time why the Apostle Paul said "PRAY WITHOUT CEASING!!!" I want you to understand, that for the success of ANY ministry, church, person, for the sake of these kids and for mine and Ray's sanity, I want YOU ALL reading this to get it too. And if you don't "get it", WANT to learn, WANT to understand, WANT to be teachable. Ask the hard questions, seek out answers. It's ok!
God is good, His Word endures and will not return to him without achieving the purpose he set it out to do. I believe that with all my being. I covet your prayers and so does Ray. Keep praying. Every time you think of one of us, pray. I love you guys!
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