Thankful On Every Level

I know it's early for "Thanksgiving" food, but it's not too early to talk about thanksgiving.  I'm always entertained by how easy it is to talk about how thankful I am, or we are, around this time of year, but other times of the year, it's like we just walk around in our own self-centered, ego-centric little spheres.  I'm as guilty as the next person, but it doesn't make it right.  On the way to Staten Island on Friday night, Ray and I were having a great discussion about entitlement, and I shared with him my experience(s) on the ambulance with Paul, when Paul and I would talk about our attitudes of entitlement, usually about getting off on time.  I shared with Ray how the paradigm shift happened for me, and for Paul, because we understood that we were really entitled to nothing, but only as a result of God's grace in calling us and saving us, and Jesus' finished work on the cross, can we gain anything.  However, we are never entitled to anything, and we really don't have "rights".  Just a couple thoughts to provoke you :)

Now, to get into what I'm thankful for on this occasion.  I posted last right after I got back here from Boston.  I was missing the Robinsons (still am!), and trying to get back in the ministry groove.  I am happy to report, it didn't take any time at all, and I was back in action!  Praise God!  Friday night there were 3 youths and two adults (me and Ray) that went into New York City for the young people's service at Times Square Church.  Aaron, Jordan, and Richey went, with a fair amount of enthusiasm :)  We caught about the last 20 minutes of the service, and the pastor had been talking about Rahab's story in Joshua 2, and then again in Hebrews 11.  He talked about who she was and who she became.  He said she made choices when God confronted her.  She first she listened to God, second she trusted God and third she obeyed God.  As a result of her responding to God, she lived with God's people; God provided her with a husband; God stripped away her old identity as a prostitute and made her righteous.  As Christians we are called into relationship with Christ (which transforms our identity), commanded to obey God's Word, trust God, and fellowship with one another.  As a result, we can say who we were before Christ, and now say who we are as a result of the Holy Spirit working in us.  This was the gist of the message.

At the end of the service, the pastor gave a call for those who wanted to make a first time decision for Christ to come forward, and he also extended an invitation to those who just wanted prayer.  Aaron asked Ray and me if we would go down with him and pray with him.  Of course we said, "yes" to Aaron.  Later when I asked Aaron what it was, specifically, that he wanted  prayer for, he said, "I didn't need prayer for anything in particular, I was just overwhelmed with how thankful I was for what God has done for me and I just wanted to be sure to thank him."  I just kind of shook my head up and down, but was speechless for fear of tears.  It was the most profound thing I had heard anyone say in a long time.  It was like a splash of water on my face on a hot day, and it was awesome.  I'm so amazed and blessed and encouraged and excited by what I am seeing in Aaron's life, and how much he has grown just in the short time I have been around.  The crazy thing is that Aaron is not plugged into a church, his home life is a wreck, but he is faithfully reading God's Word, he is praying, and he is in contact with me and Ray through the week, and I am watching the transformation take place.  This is what's going to be hard to leave here and return home from.  But I am SO thankful for the opportunity to walk with Aaron, even if I don't get to come back, for the time I had. 

I thought I came here to minister to these young people, and though I did, I think I'm the one going home having been ministered to.  I know that's generally the way these trips go, but it's never any less amazing to me.  I'm humbled by God's grace, especially in retrospect!  I also thought I came here to work with the young ladies in Ray's ministry, and though I did make a connection with Jordan on a couple occasions, she never really did rise to the challenge or show an interest in really connecting.  I also made contact with a couple of other young ladies, but they just kind of fell off the map after the first week.  It was Aaron that kept rising to the surface, and who wanted to be invested in, and who was hungry to learn.  I certainly wasn't going to walk away from the opportunity.  It made me really glad I really love football and basketball :)

Yesterday, I got to spend some time with Aaron in the city.  I wanted to go to Ground Zero and Times Square in the daylight hours.  Originally, it was supposed to be Jordan, Aaron and myself, but Jordan backed out at the last second.  I pulled the truck over and talked to God about it just being me and Aaron, and decided it was probably fine, and so we went.  It was great!  The weather was beautiful, and Aaron and I had a blast.  I felt safe because I had Aaron with me.  He's a big guy, so I figured as long as I didn't get too far from him or make the wrong person mad, I'd be just fine.  Ground Zero was pretty intense.  I went into a "preview" museum, which was basically a shop that had 9-11 gear and an area that talked about the bigger museum available to tour for a fee.  It instantly took me back 10 years to watching the TV screen as the 2nd plane hit the tower, and watching the towers fall, and seeing people jump out of windows.  I definitely felt like I was standing on hallowed ground.  There is a new tower going up where the Twin Towers once stood.  It's called the Freedom Tower, and it looks like it's about half way finished.  After that, we went to Times Square.  That place was a zoo, but it was fun at the same time.  I went back to the 3 story Toys R Us to get some things for Emmary and a couple other people.  That store is some serious fun, kid or not!!  I also went into Planet Hollywood and a couple other random places.  I even walked down Broadway.  It was an eventful day.  Once I got tired of people invading my bubble, which doesn't exist in New York City, we hopped on the ferry and came back. 

So, my adventures are coming to a close.  In about 48 hours I'll be boarding the first leg of my flight home.  Pray for me.  Pray that this sticks, and that I won't forget what I learned.  Pray that I won't just go back to "life as usual."  I have some big things to consider and pray about as I come home, and how I decide on those things could determine if I come back to the East Coast full time.  Thank you guys for following me on this trip.  Your following has been a source of serious encouragement to me!  Love you guys!

The New WTC Tower

WTC Tower--Freedom Tower

Me Standing in the Cemetery at St. Paul's chapel with Ground Zero in the Background

St. Paul's Church was unscathed when the Twin Towers fell!

OK, Nancy Ek, Interpret :)

US Customs House

Couldn't help it

Staten Island Ferry

Only in Times Square could you find a McDonalds sign like this!

Look at ALL THE PEOPLE!  Get outta my bubble!

Last Glance at the Skyline with the Brooklyn Bridge....For Now :)

It's TOO quiet...and other reflections

Well, I'm back in New Jersey, sitting at Ray's.  The jury is still out on whether or not I am excited to be back here....well, at the house anyway.  It's too quiet.  No little people giggles; No snuggles from them when they get up from their naps; no sibling wars over who is louder, who is better at Wii; who's turn it is to do such and such a chore; no morning chaos getting the older two off to school and all four of them dressed, fed and ready to roll...and I miss it.  Don't get me wrong, I miss Jacob and Amy too, but there is something nearly magical about watching a family that size move and function and love each other, and I think first and foremost, it comes from the grace that only Jesus can give, second it comes from great training from parents who love each other and the little people God has given them, but the little people seal the deal.  I really like them...a lot.  And this house, in Chester, NJ, is too stinkin' quiet!  Ah, well....motivation, perhaps to visit this side of the map more often :)  What I am excited for is getting back in the groove of youth  ministry and seeing how God is going to use me for the last week (perhaps) that I have here.  It's been a trip that has pretty much blown my mind, and it's not over yet. 

Aside from the being sick part, even the extra week in Boston was a pleasant and sweet surprise that allowed me to enjoy friendships on a deeper level--to solidify the bond and truly enjoy the people I was with.  I got to hear from Aaron in Staten Island, who doesn't even sound like the same guy these days, and is doing awesome.  He finished the book of John in his Bible, and I sent him on to Acts.  He is excited, and he said for the first time in a long time, maybe even for the first time ever, he is happy.  How great is our God?!  I have to call him again today, given the chance, and catch up with him, but I anticipate that I will get a good report.  Aaron seems to be the young person that God put in my path to really connect with, and that God really moved in.  Although, I have watched him move in the lives of the teens in Ray's church youth as well.  Good stuff has been going on.  God IS moving in this generation of young people.  My prayer is that the apathy and sense of entitlement that they seem to have will be transformed into a love for others and a desire to serve.  I know it's a tall order, but the God we serve is a God of complete transformation, not just of behavior modification. 

I still have a thousand ideas, a heart that feels like it is going to burst at the seams, and that emotional sensation of walking the line somewhere between uproarious laughter and joyous tears.  It's odd, but it is good.  In case anyone wonders, God really does seek to do exceedingly abundantly more than we could ask or imagine.  All it takes is us asking with truly humble hearts and a willingness to do what he lays on our hearts.  I have a lot to pray about, a lot to talk about, and a lot to look forward to with eager anticipation and hope.  It's all about the hope we have because of what Jesus accomplished on that cross and who he has called us out and made us to be.  Don't miss out!  Talk to people so they don't miss out!

Please be praying with me as I consider staying on this side of the map for another week.  There are a lot of things that have to happen in order for me to stay.  I have to get my flight pushed back; I have to get the green light from the worker's comp people; I have to successfully reschedule my appointment with the hand surgeon for as soon as I get home as I can; and I have to be sure it's what God is calling me to do, and not just some great idea I have come up with that seems fun.  I will get an answer from the worker's comp folks some time today or tomorrow.  It starts with them.  If I come home as planned next week, Praise God!  If I get to stay an extra week, Praise God!  It's all his deal anyway, and I'm gonna be happy either way.  But it doesn't hurt to ask him, or to ask you to pray with me.  Love you guys!

Meet Boston and The Boston Robinsons

So, this blog post has been a long time in coming.  A lot has happened, and I was supposed to have left Boston this past Monday, but am still here.  The first 6 days of my visit were FANTASTIC!  I got to hang out with 4 really great kiddos and spend some time with two really great friends who love God and love their family.  It doesn't get much better :)  I got here on Halloween night and was thrown into the mix right away doing the school run for Lauren and Samuel, who go to the elementary school down the road, and Mia, who goes to a preschool just a bit further away.  Then I got to sit in Amy's moms soul care group (small group) at 7 Mile Road Church.  It was awesome.  It was great to see moms get together for the sake of digging into God's word and sharing how it impacts and challenges moms to become better parents.  I think it was Thursday night that Jacob and Amy's regular Soul Care group met at their house and that was cool too!  Jacob shared his "life line", which is basically a more in-depth personal testimony.  Each of the members in the group will share theirs as a "get to know you" tool.  All of the couples in the group have little ones, so it was fun to get to meet them too. 

Friday my gut gave me quite a bit of trouble, so I spent the day laying on the couch feeling pretty lousy.  By about 6 pm, it had relented enough that I was able to eat some chicken and rice, and enjoy family fun night.  One of the things the Robinson's do every week is family fun night.  Their kids are 9, 6, 4 and 2 and they have a time of giggling and dancing and silliness.  It was wicked ahwesome (insert Bahstahn accent here)!  In addition to the 6 Robinsons and me, Grace Kruse, their Pastor's wife and her two little girls came over to join in on the fun while her husband Matt and the 2 boys went to a football game.  The Kruse's have 4 kids as well, and they are all right in the same age range as the Robinson kids.  Grace is one of Amy's closest friends here in Boston.  It was certainly a time of semi-organized craziness and fun. 

I woke up Saturday feeling really pretty good, which was awesome because we went to down town Boston for the day.  What an adventure.  I love history, so this was like a dream come true for me.  I felt like all the stories I read in my text books and novels growing up came to life.  I stood in the area that the Boston Massacre took place, I got to see some of the graves of the signers of the Declaration of Independence, and got to experience one of the oldest cities in the United States.  It was really neat.  It's certainly a city that I would love to come back to and spend some significant time getting to tour and hang out in.  I also got to walk through the Holocaust Memorial.  It was enough to bring tears to my eyes.  I wasn't able to get any good pictures of it, but it's something I encourage you to go look up on line.  It looks like a glass tunnel, but if you look closely at the glass on the sides, there are numbers.  It's all the numbers of the Jews taken prisoner in the Holocaust divided by concentration camp.  There are quotes from individuals in the camp that moved me to my core.    The weather was pretty cooperative Saturday as well.  It was a bit crisp, about 50*, but it was sunny and the wind was calm, so it was fairly comfortable for the way we were all dressed.  The kids were in great moods, and there weren't any melt downs :)  The meal of the day, maybe even for my East Coast experience so far was Mac and Cheese with Lobster and Shrimp.  It was a party in my mouth!  I ate way more than I should have, and was pretty sure I was going to pop the button off my jeans.  But it was SOOOOO good!!!  I ate it for lunch and for dinner, and told Amy if her breakfast idea didn't work out on Sunday, I'd eat it for breakfast on Sunday too.  It was uh-mazing, as Emmary would say. 

Sunday I got to go to church with the clan.  They go to 7 Mile Road Church in Malden, MA.  Paul has told me about this church and how much he enjoys the preaching here and the music and the fellowship.  He said when he comes here, he finds himself singing louder than he sings anywhere else, and that he finds it really easy to engage.  So, you can imagine I was pretty excited to be a part of this community.  It was great!  Matt brought the Word and handled it very well.   I felt welcomed like family, and it was easy to see that the people were the same on Sunday as they were the rest of the week.  They meet in a gym just like home, so it was really familiar.  I loved it.  I still miss my church family, but God has been really gracious to plug me into church bodies here on the East side that I can relate to and  connect with.  I'm really thankful.  Sunday is about where my good times end.

Sunday night my gut really started to feel lousy, and Monday I started throwing up and it hasn't stopped.  I have been throwing up and in pain since then.  I have had 3 ER visits in 3 days, and my doctors back home have not been much help to me.  They basically told me today that unless I get on a plane and come home, they can't really help me at all.  The problem is that I don't think I could get on a plane and fly at this point.  I can't go more than 20 minutes without throwing up.  This was the only thing I didn't want to deal with on this trip....but I also know that God is not absent in this and he isn't leaving me to deal with this on my own.  So, please pray for me.  I really want to get back to New Jersey and Staten Island to do ministry--that's what I am here for, after all.  I'll keep you all posted.  Enjoy the pictures!  Love you guys!

Where the Boston Massacre Happened

Me, Sophia, Mia, Sam, Lauren @ Old City Hall

Me & Silly Sophia

The First Public School Started in Boston!!

Occupy Boston....couldn't resist taking a picture

Boston Fire House



Boston EMS (next to Fire House)



I Visited Gordon Today...

No, Gordon isn't a guy, it's a college in Northern Massachusetts.  It's a Christian Liberal Arts College with an enrollment of about 1500 students, and it was amazing.  I'd be honored if God worked it out to where I could go to school here for a couple years and finish up my Bachelor's degree.  I was blown away and moved by the way the staff and students interact with one another, and by how focused the school is by teaching the students to be more like Jesus by taking what they are learning in the classroom and turning it "inside out" in the real world.  THAT is what it's all about, folks.  Head knowledge is useless unless we put it into practice.  James tells us to be not hearers of the Word only, but effectual doers, and Gordon desires that for its staff and students.  It was an atmosphere that I have not experienced anywhere else.  I was even convicted by God while I was there!  Yeah!  That's what I said, "WHAT?!"   One of the things the prospective students visiting the campus did first thing was tour the campus, including one of the dorms.  I am thinking to myself as we walked in, "There is no way I'm living on campus in a dorm!"  We spent about 15 minutes in the dorm and talked to one of the students living there about dorm life, and I walked out thinking, "OK, God, I'm sorry for my arrogance and my bad attitude.  Living in a dorm would give me a perfect opportunity to pour into the lives of younger people and walk with them, mentor them, and help them grow in their faith.  I could totally get over my slight discomfort for that."

I got to meet with a professor from the Christian Ministries Department, which is the department both the Juvenile Justice Ministry and the Outdoor Education Ministry majors programs are under, and he was amazing and so helpful and encouraging.  He just "happened" to be a firefighter/EMT in his hometown, and he knew who I was and was able to pick me out of a full room without ever having seen me before.  It was pretty cool.  I got to ask questions of him and have him explain the dynamics of the school and the programs, and found out that I can double major or have a major and minor--that means I can do BOTH the Juvenile Justice and Outdoor Education tracks!!!  Super excited about this, and Bob (the professor) said that with what I have in mind, these two majors will fit beautifully together.  He only had to meet with me for 30 minutes, but he sat and talked with me for about an hour and 15 minutes.  It was great.

I also did an entrance interview, without knowing about it in advance.  I walked in the door to pick up my info packet and get the scoop on the day and the info desk gal asked me, "Now, you have to do an entrance interview as part of your application process, is that something you are interested in doing today?"  What was I supposed to say, "No, I'm having an off day today, I'll fly back next month."?!  Of course I said "Yes!"  It was the best interview I have ever had, and not once did I feel nervous or out of place.  Lindsey was the interviewing counselor, and I basically was asked why I was there at Gordon, and what my story was.  By the time I finished telling her just the snapshot of the story from getting hurt last December to mine and Mike Blair's conversation in September at Charlie Ek's retirement bbq to now, she was grinning from ear to ear and telling me that the professors were going to love me.  I think that's good, right?  She didn't bat an eye when I told her that my transcript didn't have all A's and B's on it, so she must really have liked my story.  When she introduced me to the professor, she told my story better than I did, and it was weird to hear someone else tell it.  Not "I'm embarrassed" weird, but the, "WOW!  God did that for me/through me!?!" weird.  It was humbling for sure!

It's hard not to be excited simply at the prospect of calling Gordon "home" for the next 2 years, and I'm really going to be asking God to work this thing out for me with the worker's comp people/vocational rehab people.  I am asking you to do the same.  If he does, that's awesome, and if he says "no" I will still be singing his praises and rolling with whatever he has for me.  I'm confident that he has big plans for me, and that nothing is too big for him to handle, including the worker's comp people :)  This is his deal, and I'm just excited that he is using me, even a little bit!!!!  Stay tuned!  Love you guys!

One of the Dorm Halls

Campus Layout Arial View

Most of the Campus Looks Like This

I didn't take any of these pictures, but this gives a general impression of what the campus looks like.  You can go look at pictures of it online if you'd like.  It's beautiful :)

In The Words Of My Favorite Little Human~ It Was UH-MAZING!!!

Hey Ya'll!

I feel like it's been way more than four days since I last posted, even though the last post was more like a blurb than an actual post. I am in Boston now (Saugus) and I have some free time here, so I figured now is as good a time to bring you all up to speed as any! I took off from Staten Island, NY after dropping Aaron and Dave off about 3:30pm yesterday and got in here about 8:30pm last night. Ray's house was an unpleasant 49* when I woke up yesterday morning INSIDE as there was NO power, and Aaron and Dave ended up crashing there Sunday night instead of going home like planned because Ray was exhausted and his trucks were all out plowing. He might have power back tomorrow. My intention was to be here in Boston by noon yesterday, but the storm caused a hitch in the get along, so I had to just roll with it.

First, a shout out to Mr. Charlie Ek...Happy Birthday yesterday! I didn't forget you, I even called while I was driving through Brooklyn and Queens, New York in rush hour traffic :) To the rest of you at home, give him a bad time for me, will ya? Thanks!

Now for the good stuff, the retreat was an absolute blast! We got about 8-10" of snow, depending on where you were standing, in less than 12 hours, but we kept our power. But more than the snow, the kids heard from God, and the Staten Island boys~ Dave and Aaron~ got their hearts touched by God in a real way, and there were some awesome conversations that I got to have with them, and some awesome conversations I heard about from the guy adult leaders they were in connection with at camp. God is so good and so faithful! It amazes me, though it shouldn't, how He moves in the lives and hearts of those who WANT to hear from him and who are called according to his will and purpose, ya know?! MMMM!!! GOOD STUFF. The theme of the weekend was: WORSHIP: Eat, sleep and Hail Mary (football). Worship is a way of life, not just 20 minutes as part of a church service or a genre of music. It's everything we do and are, and even the unsaved worship. If you disagree, think about a Michael Jackson concert, or the Superbowl. See? We all worship something or someone. We talked about things like "who is God" and how you explain who he is in tangible ways. For example, he is living water, he is the bread of life, and he is sweeter than honey. It's easy to say God is holy, awesome, perfect, light, etc, but how would you explain that to a deaf guy from Zimbabwe? You could explain to him that God is living water, bread of life and sweeter than honey a little easier, and still communicate all the other things too. Made me think out side of my "western mind" :)

Then we talked about the condition of our hearts, the Hebrew word is Kavanah. The parable used was the parable of the Pharisee and the tax collector. The parables were told so the students could respond, not just so they could hear another story. So, the point of this parable is not to pick who you want to be, ie, the pharisee or the tax collector, but about understanding the condition of one's heart. After this session, the small groups shared communion together, then we had a ton of free time. Some played paintball in the snow, some played on the ginormous inflatable bouncy structures in the gym (this is what I did, and this was not your average ball pit!) IT WAS AWESOME. Then, Saturday night, Ryan (youth pastor) and Dave (music/worship pastor) gathered all the adult leaders together in the dark gym and said something to the affect of, "tonight might feel really normal to some of you, and tonight might feel really charismatic to some of you. Get over it and let God lead tonight! We are going to talk about postures in worship with the kids, and then we are going to all come down here tonight and see what God does with that. We are going to pray with them, we are going to sing with them, we are going to read Scripture out loud with them, allow them to read out loud or speak out loud what is on their hearts. We are setting the table for God, and then we are going to let him do what he wants with us and through us." Then we went upstairs and had a teaching time with the kids and talked about what the postures of worship were, and then came down and did just what Ryan and Dave said.

We prayed with the kids, and we watched walls crumble. At one point I walked past Aaron and Dave sitting with one of their cabin mates and an adult leader praying and all of them were crying openly. I don't know what was going on other than the adult leader was praying with them. I found out later that a couple of the adult leaders had walked up to Aaron and Dave and called out the men in them, told them they were sons of God and that God was proud to call them sons. That's all it took to break their hearts open. I prayed with a number of the young ladies. Three of the teens their were siblings and their dad had left their family for another woman, and these kids were hurting and angry. I got the chance to pray for all of them, two girls and a young man. The oldest is a young woman who is trying so hard to hold the family together, and as I started to pray for her, she just broke out into tears and sobs. After I finished praying, she said it was so freeing to just open up and let it all go. I was on this retreat for a very specific reason, and by the time we left on Sunday, I felt like I had been part of this church doing ministry with these adult leaders and with these kids for years. I felt like family. Obviously, they aren't my South Clackamas family, but I felt connected with these people, and if I end up in New Jersey, this church is certainly a place I can call home. It was good to feel that!  The Sunday morning session and wrap up concluded with a prayer walk in the small groups and we all ended up by the lake you see in the pictures.  On the way down, each kid and leader picked up a rock and wrote our names on it.  Ryan concluded the time by talking about how Jesus is the Chief corner stone, and about how Peter's name means "Rock", and how Jesus is our rock, foundation, etc, and as his followers, we are living stones.  So, you have to look closely, but on the cross by the lake, you can see the stones up on the cross.  They are the stones with the names on them.  We are living stones, and these are standing stones!  Ask Mike what standing stones are :)  Or just go read Joshua again! 

At one point, Aaron came up to me and told me he hadn't felt this good or this happy in years (his mom passed away about three years ago), and that he was so glad he came and that I had asked him to come. He said he couldn't have dreamed of connecting with these people. He said he never imagined getting together with people his age and hearing that people can have problems like him AND still love Jesus and follow him with all they've got. It was enough to make me cry later. I didn't want to make him feel odd, so I was able to keep it together until I was talking to another adult leader later on about the conversation. It was just so stinkin' cool. I can't tell you guys how thankful I am for you giving to make it possible for Aaron and Dave to go. Both your finances and your prayers made this possible. God moved through you! thank you THANK YOU!

After Saturday night's session, all of the adult leaders had kind of a debriefing, and they said they had prayed for God to move in the kids the way he moved that night for years, and that night was the first time they had seen ANYTHING like what they had witnessed. They were stoked, and I got to be a part of it too. Then, on the way home Sunday, the kids said that the retreat was by far the best retreat they had ever been on. Some of these kids have been going on these retreats since they were in 6th or 7th grade and are now seniors in high school. So, God really did something great for and through these kids and leaders. I'm so humbled to have gotten a chance to be involved in it.

So, there are pictures here too, and I'll post some from my Boston adventure. I'll blog some while I'm here, although this is a fun time visit with my friends. For those of you that know Paul, my work partner/mentor, I'm with his kids and grand kids in Boston this week. I go back to New Jersey either Sunday night or Monday next week. It will all depend on how tired I am Sunday :) So, the blogging from here will be the fun things the kids say and the pictures of Boston in the fall, oh and the stinkin' cute kids I get to hang with. Thanks for praying!   I love and miss you guys!

Pretty Snow and the corner of the mess hall :)



Sweet Cristina Mendoza



Nancy, Suzi, and Mom~ This is for you :)

My Snowy Mug

The Lake

!!!LIVING STONES!!!

Ryan (in the funny hat) talking about Jesus and Living Stones

My Cabin